Where have we been? We've been right here.

Dear Friends of the Blogosphere:

I write to thee with a formal apology. You probably noticed the lack of Fruitful Friday blog this past Friday. You might have even noticed the lack of a Wet and Wild Weekend blog last weekend. We’re sorry. We haven’t forgotten about you.

When Kelsey and I started this blog (or restarted?), we didn’t quite realize just how much of my time grad school would consume. Evidently earning a degree and working full-time takes a lot of time. Who knew? Because grad school is occupying so much of my time, the stuff I normally do around the house falls on Kelsey…thus her time is now all booked too.

Our Friday blogs were supposed to be reflections on the struggles of babymaking. But here’s the problem: by the time Friday rolls its beautiful self around, neither Kelsey nor I are in much of a blogging mood. (We’re actually in a babymaking mood, but you probably don’t want to read about such things. I’ll let you use your imagination.) This has literally everything to do with the fact that the end of my week looks like this: Wednesday night is homework/laundry night. Thursday I leave home at 6:00am and return home at 10:30pm. And the end of Kelsey’s week looks like this: Wednesday she gets the entire house in order. Thursday she longingly looks out the window awaiting her husband’s valiant return.

By the time I’m done with work on Friday, I don’t really want to write poignant reflections on the womb. I want to take my wife out to dinner and talk to her for the first time in three days. When dinner and a movie (or, more accurately—Thursday night DVR’d TV) are over, we’re usually soundly asleep on the couch. As Dottie wakes us up and tells us to go to bed, the time for blogging has passed.

That’s not to say we still don’t have thoughts on child-rearing, adoption, and schtuppin’. We just want to spend some time talking to each other instead of the interweb sometimes.

Anyways, please accept this formal apology for the occasional missed blog. We’ll try not to have it happen very often…but I can’t promise it won’t happen sometimes. Just know when it does, it’s happening for the right reasons, and not because we are lazy sloth like creatures.

Thank you, and good night.

Jay

Bachelor Weekend

As Kelsey talked about throughout last week, she left Friday afternoon for a sunny vacation in Alabama. Because of this, I am a bachelor for a week. If this weekend is any indication, I don't know if Cedar Falls can contain me.

This was the picture Kelsey sent me while I was at work today.

On Friday, after I dropped Kelsey off at her parent's, I wasted no time in going out with another woman. In fact, I dropped off Kelsey and picked up a woman at the nearest corner. (for those that don't know, my parents and Kelsey's parents live diagonally across the street from one another)

It was about 4:30 when I had supper on Friday. When Kelsey's gone, I rebel. I eat early. Real early. None of this 5:00 stuff. No way. 4:30.

After supper I dropped mom back off at her corner and went home. I immediately hit the hard stuff. We were out of Diet Coke. The chocolate milk was dwindling. So I cracked open a Sprite. A real, 130 calorie Sprite. It was a delicious and thirst-quenching blast of lemon AND lime. After one, I got greedy. I wanted one more. About halfway through the second can, I started to feel a little woozy. I tried to read. I tried to watch TV. Then I passed out. Hard. There I was at 7:00, dead to the world on the couch. (it might have had something to do with studying until 3:00am on Wednesday and not getting home from school until midnight on Thursday)

The hard stuff. Makes you crazy.

Normally, Kelsey and I sleep in on Saturdays. Not this Saturday though. I got up real early--5:30am--and went to work. After work, I met my father-in-law and brother out for ANOTHER early supper. Two in a row. Take that Kelsey! After dinner, I once again went home. I did some dishes and some laundry. Kelsey usually does the dishes, but not this time! Then I worked on homework. During my homework I rewarded myself by absent-mindedly drinking the leftover half can of Sprite from the day before. It was flat and awful and knocked me right back out. At least this time it was 8:00pm.

Dottie is confused by my new laissez faire attitude. She stared at me throughout question 2 of my stat assignment.

Kelsey called to wake me up later in the night. She'd arrived safely. I told her about all the my hijinx. She said I was a big rebel and told me to calm down. I told her I didn't shave that day, and I didn't plan to shave Sunday. I could tell she didn't even know who she was talking to. She was impressed with my bad-assery, just as I'm sure all of you are now.

Donating to the Alumni Association

I often am told I never help people move. I always have "convenient reasons" why I can't help. I haven't helped my brother move the last six times he's moved. He often reminds me of this.

Three weeks ago, this was all going to change. Dallas (my bro) and Jamie (his wife) were going to close on a new house, and I was going to drive to Ankeny and help them move. Then, thanks to a banker's snafu, the closing had to be pushed back one week. This meant the moving would be pushed back one week...to a weekend where I had plans I couldn't cancel. So for the seventh consecutive time, I couldn't help my brother move into his new place (sidenote: he moves too much). The conspiracy theorist in me believes he orchestrated this entire delay just so he could continue to give me a hard time about never helping him.

I didn't so much care that I couldn't help move (he had plenty of other able-bodied men and women folk to move boxes). I was disappointed I wasn't going to see his new place right away. My brother rarely gets giddy over anything new (unless it's a brand new Weezer CD or something), and he'd been geeking out over this house for weeks (rightfully so). So this Saturday, after the Long Island Strawns left our house on Saturday morning, Kelsey and I left for Ankeny to visit Dallas and Jamie.

And wouldn't you know it? On the way to Ankeny is Ames, home of the wonderful, majestic Iowa State University and our mighty Cyclones. The last few times Kelsey and I have been to Ames, the ISU Bookstores were closed. This was too bad because I've been wanting to buy this shirt...

...because it represents the College of Business from which I earned my degrees. I also think it does a great job representing just how angry I am every morning at 5:00am when my alarm goes off, and I realize, "Oh yeah. Work."

Here's the problem though: It's impossible to buy just one shirt at a college bookstore, so I bought two. Then I bought a coffee cup. Then Kelsey bought two t-shirts. Then we picked up some other assorted merchandise. Seventy-five dollars later, we escaped the bookstore.

We did manage to avoid this $100 quilt that one of you can buy us for a gift someday.

In truth, getting out of Ames with only $75 dollars of damage would have been quite a success. Unfortunately, instead of driving straight towards the interstate, we drove down Welch Avenue. Welch Avenue is Ames' college bar area. It features an ever-changing line-up of bars, a Pita Pit, a really bad Chinese Food restaurant, and a couple more t-shirt shops. We weren't going to stop...but there was a green shirt in the window of DogTown. Honestly, a green shirt! It's almost St. Patrick's Day. We had to stop, right?

The shirt was green and featured a clever play on words! Who could resist? Not us. We each bought one. To be fair, the St. Patrick's Day shirts we impulsively bought in Ames last year weren't very cool. This year's shirt is much cooler. Before we could check out with just our green t-shirts, the person at the store said, "Oh by the way, everything in the store is 50% off."

"Everything?"

"Everything."

"Even the sweatshirts?"

"Even the sweatshirts."

"What about this hat?"

"Even that hat."

"Everthing?"

"Everything!"

Kelsey and I went crazy. In addition to my St. Patrick's Day shirt, I bought five more t-shirts (one of which features our new logo...which looks like Louisville's logo...I'm not a fan...yet). Kelsey bought four more t-shirts. We both bought sweatshirts. Kelsey bought a coat. I bought a hat. It was awesome. $150 later we left. Really, that amount was quite a steal for what we bought. We'll now never have to buy ISU clothes again.

The mighty Iowa State Louisville Cyclone Cardinals.

But we will. We have a serious addiction. Maybe it is because we only make it to Ames once or twice a year or maybe it is because ISU's attire is just so much better than the stuff they sold when we went to college, but we always seem to go on some crazy shopping spree every time we are there.

Kelsey couldn't resist a 50% off hooded sweatshirt with polka dots.

After our brief, pricey sojourn to Ames, we made it back to the interstate (after making sure Walnut Place was still standing tall) and back on our way to the other Schmitz's new pad.

And what a pad! Their house was great. They'd moved in only two weeks ago but it already felt like a home. They'd wasted no time putting their decorations around the house and filling the walls with character.

Ever the hosts, Dallas and Jamie welcomed us right in.

It was fun to walk around the house with Dallas as he showed off each room. He and Jamie were clearly very proud of themselves (as they should have been), and Kelsey and I were glad we could share in their excitement. Well done, Brother Man.

No Focus

I'm glad Kelsey finally came home Friday night because I noticed something when she was gone this week: I can't focus on any one thing. I had several things I planned to do while I was Mr. Bachelor this last week. I was going to finish the book I was reading (Infinite Jest). I was going to watch two movies: The Kids are All Right and True Grit (the new version). I planned to start Dave Ramsey's new book. I wanted to clean out the unfinished area of the basement (or start to).

What did I do?

None of the above. When Kelsey is here, I have no problem reading...but I didn't get any reading done while she was gone. I couldn't concentrate because whenever I'd start reading I'd think, "I should be doing one of the activities I can't do when Kelsey is around (ie watch a loud movie)." But then I'd start a movie and think, "what a waste of time."

So I'm glad Kelsey is back. It's easier to focus when she's here. I'd make a terrible bachelor.

Weekend Checklist

This weekend has been full of checklists. To me, there is nothing more satisfying then making a list, then checking things off as they get accomplished.  Well, actually, there are plenty of things I like more than checklists, but I do like making lists - okay? 

Jay and I hashed out our weekend in checklist form when he came home from work on Friday, and the rest of the weekend we divided and conquered.  I think this weekend was the perfect combination of chores, errands, fun, quality time, friends, and all the good stuff in between.  That's what weekends are all about.

So here's the cliff's notes version of our weekend in checklist form.  Booyah!  

Thursday: (What? your weekend doesn't start on Thursday?)
- Conferences
- debriefing of conferences with colleagues over refreshing beverages

Friday:
- Sleep in late... because I can!
- Breakfast and a Sam's club run with mom because she's cool and I love her! 
- Clean house in the afternoon... get distracted by the dog laying in the sunshine
- Cuddle with Dottie in the sunshine while watching bad television like "Say Yes to the Dress"
- Diner date with Mr. Shinyforehead
- a small enough amount of shopping that Shinyforehead doesn't mind
- Quality time with the hubby, the Dottie, and the DVR

Saturday:
- Clean the house for company - why don't we always keep our house this clean?
- Jay pick up mounds and mounds of poop now that the snow has melted (gag, gag...)
- Jay take down Christmas lights
- Pick up cupcakes downtown and smile because I love.this.town.  
- Dottie run in the backyard like a little fool!  
- Fareway! 
- Guys have their "shower"  and do manly things
- Stay home with the neighborhood ladies and kiddos and chat all night

Sunday:
- Sub plans for next week's trip
- Sunday Carlos lunch with Jayber
- Baby shower with the best neighbors around
- Finish the submarine plans and take a big sigh of relief!
- Go to bed early because I'm exhausted!

I love weekends!

The Trip, One Week Late

All week long we've alluded to a trip we took to Minneapolis last weekend. In fact, last weekend there was even a blog that was supposed to be updated with pictures and notes from the trip. It wasn't. Seeing as I have about eight cups of coffee in me, and my brain needs a break from stat homework, let me recap:

Last weekend we drove up to Minneapolis because I had foolishly purchased concert tickets for a February 6th concert for a band you should all listen to called the Decemberists. When purchasing the tickets I thought the concert was going to be on a Saturday night. When I received the non-refundable ticket confirmation email it said, "Sunday, February 6th." I suppose I should learn how to read calendars. As the concert approached, which I was very excited for, I realized that was Super Bowl Sunday. Oh good. Kelsey and I decided to go through with the concert anyways because: 1) we've watched about two games worth of football combined all year and 2) it's the Decemberists, and they rock.

It also gave us a good reason to take a quick trip to one of the best cities in these United States of America: Minneapolis.

We arrived in town a little earlier than expected last Saturday. We had dinner plans with Kelsey's best friend Allison and Allison's husband Brent. We decided to drive to the restaurant and bum around for a bit. Luckily for us there was a Container Store to occupy our time. I'd never been to a Container Store, but I'd always wanted to go there. I could really care less about containers, but both my undergraduate courses and now my graduate school courses talk about this place as a model business. Evidently people really like working there. It was a neat place--containers everywhere--but I can't for the life of me understand why their employees are so happy, friendly, and helpful. It lived up to the hype and whatever Kool-aid the Container Store's management is serving should be served at every job everywhere.

Kelsey wants our pantry to look like this.

After buying an array of exciting products: a new sink mat, portable cereal containers, wire shelves, and a laundry bin, we met Allison and Brent at a restaurant called Pin Stripes--a bistro, bowling, and bocce ball establishment (obviously). Since Kelsey and I were new to the whole gluten free thing, Allison made sure she found a restaurant that had a gluten free menu. Allison does these sorts of things because Allison is awesome. Brent's awesome too, but he definitely married up (no offense Brent--I did too). I won't describe in excessive detail the food (good) or the restaurant (also good), but I will say this: Allison, Brent, and Kelsey are horrific bowlers. They all scored much lower than my impressive and unreachable 100.

The ladies

The dudes

Jay - 100, Brent - 80, Allison - 71, Kelsey...err...40.  So bad.

The next day Kelsey and I realized we had no plans, so we Malled of Americaed it. I caved and bought a new PC tablet/laptop for grad school. I love my trusty MacBook, but unfortunately the world of business spreadsheets does not.

I also bought new shoes because it was time to retire my old pair of magic Sketchers I bought in California in May of 2005. I put on my new pair of shoes and it was like walking on air. Who knew shoes had padding? The salesman tried to sell me Shape-Ups because I look a lot like Kim Kardashian. I probably would have bought them to if it weren't for that meddling wife and her disapproving looks.

This is one of two pictures I took in Minneapolis. These shoes lasted six years. Kudos to them.

After the mall we went to the concert. The Decemberists, as always, rocked. Like I said, you should listen to them. Here's a song of theirs for you, but beware, it might start you down the Youtube rabbit hole (a phrase I stole from Kevin), and you might spend all day listening to Decemberists songs:




So good. Thankfully the Decemberists gave us Super Bowl updates throughout the concert. They told us all about the ten-point deduction penalty the Steelers had and how they had to shoot a free throw at the end of the game. Unfortunately for Steelers fans, they still lost 115 to -23. I never bothered to check ESPN to see if any of that was accurate. It seemed reasonable enough.

As a side note, it was actually sort of relaxing not having to worry about the Super Bowl. Kelsey and I never really care that much about the game but feel obligated to watch it out of some sort of American guilt. Really the only thing people should feel obligated to watch on television is the World Series.

Kelsey mentioned our trip to Trader Joe's in another blog (I'm officially a damned hippie now), but I will tell you this: organic, gluten-free cheesy tortilla chips (hippie Doritos) are great. It's good to know you can take part in strange diets and still eat unhealthy foods.

The happy hippie :)

I think that about wraps this up for the night. I'm sorry for the lack of pictures. Hopefully Kelsey can add some Monday night (DONE!). All of the good pictures are on her phone which is on the nightstand next to our bed, where Kelsey currently sleeps. Hopefully the coffee wears off soon, because I want to sleep soon too. If not, I'm going to need a lot of coffee tomorrow to help curb the hangover from today's coffee. It's a vicious cycle.

Tardy Slip: The Events of this Super Weekend Will Bowl You Over

We have done a lot this weekend. We want to write about a lot from this weekend. We even have pictures. Unfortunately, we are in a hotel room with bad (very bad) internet reception (seriously, it's awful...like the worst ever) so we're going to put this small post here now, then update it tomorrow with the actual happenings of the weekend.

I'm sure you are asking yourself, "Why don't you just post tomorrow and not write this posting you're writing right now?" and that's fine. You can ask yourself that. I wouldn't make a habit of asking yourself questions about what other people do though. Psychologists have debated the motivations of humans for years and there is still no consensus. You might think you have a leg up on your psychological evaluating because you actually know us, but you probably don't have any real advantage. I know I don't understand all of my friends. Especially Ian. He's my good friend from high school. He lives in Texas. So do two of our other friends: Barb and Dan, and guys, Texas is AWFUL. Why would anyone live there? No one knows, yet so many people live in Texas.

Seriously though, it's late and you probably shouldn't be making decisions right now. If you're honestly thinking that you should quit your job and become a psychoanalyst, you shouldn't. I mean, maybe you should. It might be your passion, and you might really love it. All I ask is you hold off on doing so right this second. Get some sleep, and maybe think about it a bit more tomorrow. Okay? Okay.

"I'd Rather Have My Life"

This past Wednesday night I went to Joker's Comedy Club to see a "celebrity" comedian. That comedian was Pauly Shore. You might recognize him from such films as Encino Man, Son in Law, In the Army Now, Jury Duty, and Biodome. You won't recognize him from anything else. Aside from some work on MTV in the early 90s, Pauly's five movies were his only flirtation with fame. His trademarks: acting stoned, waving his arms around, saying the word weasel in a high-pitched stretched out tone of voice, and calling people, "buddy."

I'm sure most of you who read this blog know who Pauly Shore is. I won't go into any more detail on his  movies or his personality. I went to see him on Wednesday night with two friends from work. We figured the show would go one of two ways: we would see a reinvented Pauly Shore show some maturity and growth while he tried to work on a new act/gimmick/routine OR we would witness a complete train wreck.

Crash.

The show started with Pauly stumbling to the stage, smashed out of his mind. He couldn't quite stand up straight. His eyes were half closed. People screamed in admiration as Pauly put his arms in the air and basked in the screams of people who recognized him. He then spent the next ten minutes asking us if we were all friends. Then he took a bit of a darker turn and talked about how, "I made five movies and then what the hell happened to me? I'm stuck here in Waterloo, IA (he was in Cedar Falls) in the freezing cold."

I'm not sure why he found it a good idea to insult his audience. I'm also not sure why he found it a good idea to come to the stage with seemingly no act prepared other than the slurred words of a fallen fraternity brother. He lamented on not being able to find work in Hollywood. He complained about not being married. He kept talking about stuff that is a little too disgusting to be repeated in this blog. He didn't seem to know where he was and kept rambling until a blond waitress went in front of the stage and wanted to take his picture. He then called her on the stage and started to awkwardly pet her hair and talked about her in ways that probably made her proud to be a woman trying to earn money in a bar that already objectifies her.

He wasn't entirely terrible. Once he started to sober up on stage and once his act turned towards actual storytelling instead of shouting out past accolades, he earned some legitimate laughs. He continued to talk about how he wished he was still loved, but it stopped being as desperate as the night continued.

Three of the four people in this picture are content and happy.

The next day at work I recapped the event with one of the guys I went with. We talked about how it was interesting to see a former celebrity, way past his glory days, wishing his life had turned out differently. We then wondered what would be better, having a few year period of fame, being on top of the world, or having a nice, sustained life with a wife that loves you and friends that actually want to be with you? Pauly clearly still yearns for the fame. He tasted the top once and knows he'll probably never get there again. He seemed lonely, sad. It doesn't appear that simply filling the void with a "normal life" is working for Pauly. After we talked about our lives and compared them to Pauly's, the guy I talked to said, "I'd rather have my life." I agreed.

And She's Out.

Kelsey was supposed to be on blog duty tonight, but after a busy weekend of organizing our entire upstairs, dog-sitting for my parents, watching a squirrel ski, and changing allegiances six or seven times between the Packers and the Bears, she's out cold:

Kelsey's blog will have to be posted another day.

I on the other hand worked and slept all weekend, so I don't have much to report. Though I did conduct a very scientifically accurate poll you might all be interested to hear about. Since I was the Duty Supervisor at work this weekend, I brought in doughnuts for the guys today. Hy-Vee (a grocery store) sold Packers colored and Bears colored doughnuts. I bought thirteen of each doughnut. I only paid for twelve of each. Hy-Vee's bakery considers "twelve" a dozen, even for baked goods. The cashier wanted to charge me for my thirteenth doughnut! I cried foul. I told them thirteen doughnuts was really a dozen and that everyone knows this. The cashier disagreed. He said twelve was a dozen.

I then looked up the wikipedia entry for "baker's dozen" on my phone and showed it to the cashier. He either appreciated this gesture or resented it a great deal, but he allowed me to purchase baker's dozens for the price of normal dozens. This is a small victory for mankind I believe. Anywho, I better get back to the science.

I told all the guys at work that the first team's doughnuts to be devoured will win the game. The Packers doughnuts were gone first. In fact, there were four Bears doughnuts left at the end of the day. Obviously, the Packers won the football game. I'm now Nostrajaydoughnutmas. Bears fans might argue my data gathering wasn't entirely accurate seeing as most of the people eating doughnuts today were people from non-English speaking people from Brazil who consider football to be that stupid sport with the white and black ball that people stand around a field and kick.

Either way, the message here is that it's late, and earlier today I talked Hy-Vee into giving me two free doughnuts, and Kelsey is sleeping, and I should be too. Good night.

Wintery Weekend

K: We had a super-fun and kinda relaxing long weekend, and although I'm incredibly hyper at the moment, I'm in a lazy blogging mood.  Soooo... since a picture is worth 1000 words, we're going to let the pictures we took this weekend do the talking for us.

Friday:

We went to dinner with Jim, Vick, and Anne then met Justin, Allie, and Molly out at the bar. We didn't take any new pictures, but here's one we stole off Facebook. They have taken this same photo countless times since they've met.

Saturday:

We were on Maggie duty Saturday. The two dogs were not pleased we were leaving for...

...a Waterloo Blackhawks hockey game. It was John Deere night. Tickets were half price for John Deere employees. We didn't know this until after we got home from the hockey game, so we paid full price.

Jay caught a t-shirt during the t-shirt toss. He is such a huge hockey fan. This shirt will be forever treasured.

We took this picture outside the arena right before Kelsey fell in the snow in front of everyone.

Sunday:

We had a nice, normal day Sunday capped with watching the movie Despicable Me. Jay watched the movie. Kelsey and Dottie slept on the couch.

 Monday:

It was a snowy day today, so Kelsey and her dad...

...rode ATVs. Waterloo has a big ATV park.

Kelsey had fun, even when she rolled backwards down a hill.

Mike pulled a hamstring chasing Kelsey down the hill. Good times.

To keep with the Mundane Monday tradition, Jay spent all day painting while Kelsey had fun.

Pretty neat huh? We hope you like it...because Jay painted over this monstrosity with a nice earth tone.

There you have it! That's our long weekend! We'll be back tomorrow with our regularly scheduled blog.

Dottie's Anxious Weekend

Poor, simple Dottie...a dog with the easiest dog life a dog has ever had. She doesn't have any responsibilities. She gets showered with attention. She has two full bins of toys. She has another bag of toys in the closet. She regularly gets treats even though her only consistent trick is "sit." When did sitting become a rewarded trick? Even though Dottie has the luxuries of a doggy princess, she's scared. She's scared of suitcases. She's scared of the color red. She's scared of groceries. She's scared of Kelsey or me when we first arrive home--greeting us not like a normal happy dog, but greeting us with a nervous, guarded trepidation.

A young Dottie, scared of a pine cone. She eventually befriended the pine cone.

She's also skeptical of anything new brought into the home--be it a new dog toy, a decorative pillow, some mail. Dottie performs a ritual when anything new is brought into the house. She'll actively avoid whatever the new object is. For instance when we buy her a new toy we say, "Here Dottie. Here is your new dog toy that looks exactly like every other dog toy you have. You shouldn't be scared of this toy." Then we put the toy on the floor. Dottie will run into the other room. Then she'll slowly army crawl back into the room. If we look at her, she'll run back out of the room. She'll continue to try and slink into the room until she gets close to the new toy without notice. When she arrives at the toy, she plants her back legs and cranes her neck towards the toy, taking in big sniffs of this potentially dangerous object. After a couple of minutes if the toy does not eat her, snap at her, or cause her any harm at all, she begrudgingly accepts it as something that belongs in the house.

Dottie never did learn to love this cardboard cutout of a cat Kelsey insisted on keeping for some reason.

This is generally a cute and harmless exercise. It only becomes obnoxious when the item has natural movement and Dottie takes a few days to accept it--such as the curtains on the backdoor. When the curtains were new, Dottie wouldn't go outside without being picked up and thrown outside. Then she wouldn't come back inside in fear that the curtains would envelope her and whisk her away to the unknown.

Dottie stretches, sniffs, evaluates.

While Dottie irrationally fears almost everything, her natural dog instincts create a desire in her to protect. She'll bark at the doorbell and run at the door, only to run away as soon as the doorbell ringer walks inside. Over time, as the three of us have settled into our lives, Dottie has deferred protection of Kelsey to me. We've developed an understanding that as long as I am here, Dottie can relax and I'll ward off any harrowing predators, stop any thieves. But when I'm gone, poor Dottie has to step in and protect her Mama.

Dottie on the edge of the bed, standing guard. She will be this way all night, vigilant.

She does a decent job protecting Kelsey during the day. Dottie paces around the house and makes sure no strangers or new inanimate objects sneaked into our various rooms. But night is scary. Kelsey falls asleep and Dottie stands vigilant guard at the side of the bed. She sits and shakes and growls at each house noise (or ghosts...the noises could be ghosts), each click of the clock, each snore. Dottie stays up all night, anxious, ready to attack a prowler. She works her nerves into a cobbled mess. She wakes Kelsey up every hour on the hour just to make sure Kelsey's alive. Dottie wants outside every two hours to make sure the backyard has not filled with vagrants or cats or vagrant cats.

Then morning comes. The sun rises. Light floods the room. But the light does not witness a peaceful scene. Dottie has not slept all night. She's frazzled, unkempt. Kelsey has not slept much thanks to Dottie's intermittent life-checks. She's tired, annoyed.

Morning comes and Dottie rests.

That was the scene at our house this weekend. I was in Chicago, forcing Dottie to become Guard Dottie. Dottie stayed up all night Friday. When morning came, her frayed nerves and exhaustion caused her to throw up all over the hallway. Then she ran into the living room and tiredly pooped all over the carpet (which she does not normally do) even though she'd been let outside four times throughout the night. Kelsey, herself tired and not yet wanting to be awake, forced to clean up dog waste that early, was not very happy. She was even less happy when Dottie, seeing Kelsey was awake, passed out on the couch and slept for four hours, satisfied her mama made it through the dark night, alive and well.

New and Improved?

K: Welcome to the new and semi-improved blog.  Dah-duh-duh-dah!! It has tabs – yay!, it has links – ooo!, and it has a THEME!! – ahhhhh! 

J: Kels, just because we added a feature to our blog that was created in 1998 doesn’t mean we need to explain it.