Progress Reports

It's report card time! And it comes but thrice a year. I get overly stressed out about how each student in my class is performing or not performing, and put way too many hours into my job.

I've filled all the cards with M's, P's, and N's (Meets Expectations, Progressing, Needs Improvement). I've started to write the paragraph-long comments sections that have to but can't possibly sum up all we've accomplished in 60 days. So I feel I've gotten a good jump on things.

Currently, however, I'm procrastinating. I seem to work better under pressure, and since they're not due until Thursday, I've yet to feel pressure.

Sooooo...I decided to take the behavior/work habits section of our report card and fill it out for my dearest husband. The reason? He told me to not procrastinate and get my work done early for once. Nah, I think I'll write a blog instead.

The Report Card for:
Jay Vernum Michael Schmitz

Displays Trustworthiness - M - I can always trust that when given the choice, Jay would choose to eat a taco.

Follows Directions - M - If given a detailed list, yes.

Uses Time Effectively - M - Jay is an amazing multitasker. He can listen to a movie, write a blog, read a book, burn music, and watch an episode of something all at the same time.

Respects Others - P - Jay respects your opinion, unless he disagrees with it. Then he'll respectfully listen, then tear your argument to shreds with made up facts and all-around falsehoods.

Cooperates With Others - M - Jay and Dottie get along quite well. He cooperates when she wakes him (and only him) up in the middle of the night to pretend like she has to go outside. He even cooperates when she then steals his spot on the bed and hogs the covers. What a trooper.

Follows Rules - P - I have a very strict "don't hit the driver" rule while Jay is in the car with his brother. Although Dallas does many things that admitedly one would want to pummel him for... Jay has a very difficult time abiding by it - he needs to practice more self-control.

Demonstrates Fairness - N - I don't think Jay demonstrates fairness when he made the rule that we have to listen to his music and go by his temperature when we are in his car. We always drive his car, I'm cold, and I'm tired of Led Zeppelin.

Demonstrates Organizational Skills - M - Jay is WAY more organized than I am. Everything is alphabetized, excel spreadsheeted, and sorted. My slobbyness drives him nuts.

Resolves Conflicts Effictively - P - Jay is a peacemaker and doesn't like to fight. His strategy for resolving conflict however, often involves him forcing me to hug him until I "feel better about it".

Works for Quality and Accuracy - N - I'm pretty sure Jay's job title has something to do with "Quality in Packaging". How can you have accuracy and quality when you literally know nothing about packaging? Did you secretly study cardboard in college?

Accepts Responsibility - P - Once when we were watching TV, Jay accidentally farted and blamed the dog.

Good job on your report card, Jay! You are doing quite well this trimester. I love you lots and thanks for letting me pick on you. Although I have no previous marriage experience to compare it to, I think you're my favorite husband of 6 months I've ever had! You make me one happy girl! : )