A Budgeting Tale (Part Two)

This will be a text heavy blog. Unfortunately there just aren't that many pictures that symbolize, "a couple coming to their senses and making a sound financial plan that works for them." Unless you want me to post a bunch of emoticons of various smiley faces, which I don't want to do.

Last week I talked about a scare I had with an alternator and an empty bank account. I mentioned putting myself on a strict budget up through Kelsey's and my wedding...

Sidenote: In case you were wondering, which you probably weren't, I did chip in for my portion of the bills at Kelsey's house...since it wouldn't have been fair to not pay for cable at my apartment and just mooch off of her cable. I just wanted to be clear.

...Then Kelsey and I got married. I assumed she'd just naturally want to follow my great budget. After all, who wouldn't want to live in squalor whilst watching an arbitrary number on an online banking website grow? Evidently the answer to that question is Kelsey.

We started to argue about finances. We'd immediately combined incomes upon getting married, but we didn't talk about how we were going to approach shared finances. I tried to stick to my $100 allowance every fifteen days while trying to get Kelsey on board with the idea. Here's some bullet points as to what we disagreed about:

• Kelsey and I overly critiqued how the other spent our "allowances." I saved it and spent it all at once. Kelsey would spend $10 here and $10 there. We didn't understand why the other spent their money the way they did. We questioned everything. Bottom line: I'd put us in a situation where we had to constantly worry about any dime the other spent.

• The allowance system didn't account for evenings out on the town together. For the first time in our eight years together, picking up the tab actually became kind of awkward. If it was Kelsey's idea to go out, why should I pay (and vice versa)? Bottom line: We were a married couple now. We should probably spend some time together outside of the house every now and then. We should be able to enjoy those times together without worrying who is picking up the check.

• Clothes. Car troubles. Stuff for the house. Who covered these expenses? At the time, I didn't think we needed to decorate the house much. At the time, I thought those should be Kelsey's expenses. To Kelsey, those should be shared...or they should come from a different account. Bottom line: Stuff started to come up. We needed to know how to pay for stuff. We didn't know how to pay for stuff.

• Life had changed. We now had double incomes and half the bills. Yet I created an environment where we'd feel bad spending money on something we actually needed--like gas or bread. Bottom line: Saving money is good. It helps alleviate stress. Creating an unrealistic budget for no reason other than to try and prove something isn't good. It helps build stress. We needed to find a way to save responsibly without feeling guilty for every dime we spent.

I should mention throughout all the arguing, we never considered separate bank accounts. Instead we created fourteen different accounts within our shared bank account. We created four checking accounts and ten saving accounts. I'll go into the saving accounts next week, but here is a quick rundown of the checking accounts:

Deposits and Bills: This is our "primary" checking account. Every paycheck either one of us receives deposits into this account. In addition, our bills are paid from this account. On the first of every month, I transfer money from this account to the as-of-right-now-mysterious savings account. The excess amount each month (which was an amount agreed upon by Kelsey and me) goes towards "Mutual" expenses...date nights, gas, etc.

Grocery: To help us budget our food purchases, we created a separate account to buy food with.

Jay's Fun Money and Kelsey's Fun Money: These accounts were what alleviated a lot of the financial tension we faced. Each month we would each receive the same amount of "Fun Money." The "Fun Money" came with an agreement: Neither one of us could ever, under any circumstance, question how the other person spent his/her fun money. If I wanted to save mine for two years and buy a pony, so be it. If Kelsey wanted to plant hers in the backyard to see if a money tree will grow, good for her.

(It wouldn't grow. I would dig up the money and take it. Do you honestly think I'd let my wife just bury money in the backyard? Besides, I'd probably need the money to buy food and shelter for my pony. Salt licks and stables aren't cheap. What a horrible idea fictional Kelsey!)

Truthfully, I'd love to list all ten of the savings accounts right now, but I'm tired. Also, the TV show Castle is really good and keeps distracting me. For now I'll leave you with the brief descriptions of the checking accounts listed above. I'll go into a bit more detail about them next week, alongside the saving accounts.