Happy Times

Kelsey and I are often asked, "Is it hard to be around so-and-so because they are pregnant?" The answer for us is no. No, it's not. Have you lived in this society? I think over half of it is pregnant at least ninety percent of the time. Even the men look pregnant these days. Kelsey and  I realized early on throughout this process that being angry or upset because one of our friends is pregnant isn't going to help Kelsey and I get any pregnanter.

I understand why other couples start to feel upset though. People seem to assume that unless we baby-strugglers bring it up, babies shan't be discussed. It becomes the forbidden topic. *whisper whisper* don't talk about babies with the schmitzes *whisper whisper* i just don't want them to feel bad right now *whisper whisper*

Please don't do that. You can talk to us about your impending and current babies. If you're pregnant, Kelsey will be the first one to offer to throw you a shower. I'll be the first one to offer to buy you a twelve-pack of vodka. That's not true. I'm a procrastinator. I'll probably offer to buy you vodka much later than some of your other, more prompt friends. We've been trying this long enough to know that this fertility stuff doesn't make any sense. You'll see a high school girl give birth six times to eight healthy babies while a married couple struggles and fights through monthly sadness. It can be hard. It can be very hard. That's what makes it a miracle. That's what makes it worth it. And we're certainly not going to get upset if someone gets their miracle a lit bit before we do.

The biggest thought I struggle with in all of this is...if Kelsey and I were upset about other people having babies, would that mean we wouldn't want them to have babies? That we would rather they deal with the same emotional roller-coaster ride we've been riding? We've made a conscience choice to be happy for other people, to share in their joy. When instead of thinking, "Damn it! Another baby will be born from an un-Schmitzian womb!" while shaking our fists at God or a tree, we've decided to smile, hug a person and say, "Congrats," and mean it. It works for us.  We can't control a lot, but we can control our attitudes.